Seven years ago my husband and I adopted a two year old boy from an orphanage outside Moscow. Although we were typical parents in our naivete, we were not prepared for the extremely difficult behaviors our son would present in the years subsequent to his placement with us.
I've been to many conferences on attachment and trauma on childhood development. I've read many books and have spoken to alot of "professionals" but still felt that the focus remained primarily on my traumatized son. But I was being traumatized, too. And it seems to me that there must be a safe place for moms to talk about this secondary trauma and learn more about it in order to help themselves.
Well, it is 10 years this month since we got Vlad and I wish I could say life with him has become easier. After several school districts and many useless IEP meetings we withdrew him from school and he is repeating 5th grade in an online school. I knew that the loss of freedom for me would take it's toll - and it has. - I would love to know if there is some method by which mothers, who feel unconnected to their children - survive homeschooling. I'm home all day with him, but the same arguments about homework, his inappropriateness with other children when outside the house -- all of that is still unchanged. I feel exhausted, angry and want to be mood-altered (if you know what I mean) by the end of each day. I have a lot of depression and shame about resenting him so much. We got a new house that i thought would bring me happiness but its old and has problems we hadn't anticipated. Just feeling scared we're too old to handle what may come.
Well, it is 10 years this month since we got Vlad and I wish I could say life with him has become easier. After several school districts and many useless IEP meetings we withdrew him from school and he is repeating 5th grade in an online school. I knew that the loss of freedom for me would take it's toll - and it has. - I would love to know if there is some method by which mothers, who feel unconnected to their children - survive homeschooling. I'm home all day with him, but the same arguments about homework, his inappropriateness with other children when outside the house -- all of that is still unchanged. I feel exhausted, angry and want to be mood-altered (if you know what I mean) by the end of each day. I have a lot of depression and shame about resenting him so much. We got a new house that i thought would bring me happiness but its old and has problems we hadn't anticipated. Just feeling scared we're too old to handle what may come.
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